Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Just quickly, I am in London and I now remember the sensation of freezing my cans off. I will write some more when I get back to Dubai, but thought you would appreciate an update of my whereabouts.

I am staying with my friend who is writing her PHD on bats, who loves a musical and who harmonises on cue. We first bonded way back when (when the giant and I lived in Ole Blighty) over our affinity for Calamity Jane and when I ran her through the effects of a latte and a bit of cheese (not necessarily together) on my digestive tract. We were at one of those lawyer functions where we both had to play the good wife and it was somewhat refreshing to find another "half" that was just as mental as me. And so, needless to say, those "lawyer functions" then became something that my "Calamity Jane loving bat friend" and I came to love dearly- put that next one on the tab, thank you very much. Does everyone here know all about the movements at my station? Its a sign that I like you and want to bring you closer...its a compliment.

Anyway, I am staying at my Calamity Jane loving Bat friends house and its nice to bring back the old times with some bubbles and a nibbly tid bit. However one thing is distressing me. My Calamity Jane loving bat friend has also turned into one of those strange "running" folk. Why is it that everyone near and dear to me is getting fit around me while I blow up like a blimp? Can everyone just take it easy considering I'm the one who has to wear a white dress (in less than 5 weeks-strike a light!) which does not forgive. Will have to do something about that when I get back to Dubai. I just bid my Calamity Jane loving bat friend adieu on her run and as I feel the cold air coming from under the window sill and can see the London rain out the window- I am thinking to myself- that's commitment. But it also might be a mental disorder. I'll talk to her about that over bacon and eggs that I have been looking forward to since it was suggested.

We are going to see Wicked today and I am so excited. Its been a while since I have seen a musical and who else better to do it than with my friend who we first bonded over Calamity Jane.

Have been trying to at least put one picture to accompany this blog- but I am writing to you live on a Mac- and je ne Mac pas. I cant for the life of me work out how to save a picture! Where is the right mouse button? Will write more in a mo mo when I get back to the "dubious-eye" or the "dubious-aye" to make reference and pay respect to Ali G, as I am in his home town.

So excited about being home in 20 days! The countdown is on.

Festive Cheer

So I told you a few entries back about how my Belarussian friend took "inspiration"- (really just a nice way of saying- copied) from my reindeer that I had outside my door? Well one night before Christmas I came home to this Mexican stand off. As my Belarussian friend had said, she was just providing mine with a friend- more like a lady reindeer with flashing benefits.

My American friend who lives on my floor has a beautiful little girl who is known to many as "Salmon and avocado" for it has been her meal of choice since she could eat- (she is now 2). She is an incredibly smart child- her father is British and her mother from LA, so she has a very cute hybrid accent. One night when I was reading her a bedtime story, she interrupted me saying "Aaaauuunty! Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea, and frolicked in the Autumn mist in a land called Hanalee". I was gobsmacked- were they the words!?! There you go, I learnt them from an 18 month old!

Anyway, I digress! Back to the reindeer- so Salmon and Avocado would ask her mum to take her to visit the reindeer every day. Every evening, she would ask her mum for food to feed the reindeer. She rolled her eyes at her mum for even suggesting that the reindeer would be able to eat a full apple and requested that she make fruit salad for them instead. She would run down the corridor, pat them and reassure the flashing reindeer whispering into her ear that it will all be ok and that she will find her mummy.

Tallulah with an H had a Christmas party in December too- What I am into is festivities when I can roll home and have the option to use my own facilities if required. Tallulah, as opposed to others, roasted her very own turkey herself- basting it every 20 minutes with coca cola as the recipe instructed. She filled the corridors with scents of home cooked delights and as always they competed with the smell of garlic coming from my Belarussian friend's apartment. They needed some extra seating so before I knew it our outdoor setting was sliding down the hall.


And so Christmas quickly came. Santa Claus sent his presents via Fedex which arrived earlier in the week so the giant and I would have gifts under the tree. The box was littered with typical my mum stocking fillers such as religious paraphenalia and books on wisdom and love. We had christmas eve at our Australian friends- that would be "the fine cheese slicer" and "my jetlagged F1 partner in crime". The giant and I got there at about 8pm and by about 9:30pm I was ready to go home. I was just exhausted after my Syrian adventure and a busy week at work. I declined the vodka red bull, twice and then on the third offer I thought I'd give it a whirl- hold the sparkling date juice. Then the mini burgers came out and it was all over. No points for guessing who was the last one standing and needed to be kicked out the door at 3:30am? Yep, Terence of Arabia.

So Christmas was a wonderful day. Instead of waking up and jumping on the bed like every other Christmas morning, the giant and I were somewhat hung over. All that lay waiting for us were the wrapped goodies from home under the tree and the turkey... from the same hotel as last time. So opened our presents and got a little bit sad, but was happy the giant remembered to buy me scorched almonds. 1pm quickly rolled around and we made our way to the hotel to pick up lunch, but this time, to cope with the masses, we were directed to the conference centre. Take a number, take a seat- and a coffee perhaps? A festive gesture that didnt go unnoticed by the giant. We waited for about 20 minutes until lo and behold our number was called. A little like a bistro lady on a microphone at a local RSL club "number 54 to the bistro please, number 54- your fish and chips are getting cold, number 54". Out came our turkey on a trolley and it was transported direct to our car. The definition of not even lifting a finger. Ah I love Dubai.

So we spent the day with my American friend, her british husband, Salmon and Avocado and a lingere designer (who you will learn more about in entries to come). The highlight- other than the amazing company and the turkey cooked to perfection was the fact that we could roll down the hallway. Again. A very merry chritsmas indeed.

And so new years eve swiftly came and I put out the bah humbug vibe early so people wouldn't put too much pressure on. I don't like NYE- never have. I hate the pressure to have an "awesome" night, to stay out really late and not be able to get a taxi home. So the "fine cheese slicer" and my "jetlagged F1 partner in crime" came over for some champagne and a meal prepared by my new chef (also known as the giant) who in his time off from work has taken to the kitchen and other domestic duties. Brilliant. After, a few suspicious looking shots the giant made,my arm was twisted and we were in a cab in no time. The only reason why I agreed was because it was quite literally at the bottom of the Palm and in walking distance to home if we couldn't get a cab. So in the end it was a great night- good company, a few festive hats, fireworks, seats (brilliant) no queues and close to home... although we did have to walk home. The giant carried my shoes and my handbag a I tried to look a sober as possible on the streets of Dubai. For those of you I didn't text before I had no more credit on my phone "Meeei Clima and app nu yea!"

Hail in the desert...

I interrupt this Chritsmas and New Years entry to bring you the images below. Hail? In the desert? Now, I've seen it all.

Moments later...

...and there it is- hail. Now I've seen it all